Book Review: Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

I was privileged to receive a pre-released copy of Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson’s new book Desperate:Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe to read and review. I have read Sarah’s blog and several of her other ebooks, so I was already a fan. I had only heard of Sally from many friends and online, but I had never read anything she had written. Since finishing Desperate, I’ve loaded a few more of her books on my Kindle app, and added them to my reading schedule for this year. IMG_3294

Since we have entered the world of church planting (about three years ago), I have struggled to find real community. My husband is my best friend, and I love that, but when we left the suburbs to plant a church, I left the comfort of close friendships behind. This wasn’t on purpose, but we now lived a half hour away, and our lives never intersected. Because of the nature of church planting (lots of people coming and going…general instability), I’ve found it hard to open up to people for the fear that they will leave of reject something about us. Fear. It’s a funny thing.

I’ve longed for friends. Ministry is fulfilling and heart wrenching. I’ve missed the camaraderie of having others in the same stage of life as me. I’ve missed talking about what our kids are doing, how we are struggling, and drinking coffee together. Matt and I have been praying for friends for a while, and the Lord has been good to bless me with some answers to those prayers.

The Lord has also blessed me with Desperate. Sarah and Sally share their experience with the isolation that motherhood often brings, especially in the “little years.” In generations past, women often lived in community together. Extended families lived together, raised children together amongst household staff. They weren’t alone. And moms today shouldn’t be either.

Sally is a veteran mom. She’s raised four children, all homeschooled. I loved hearing her wisdom in this book. The single piece of advice that was the most meaningful for me was found near the beginning of the book, in Chapter 2 “The Go-It-Alone Culture (On Needing People).” Sally said that every single deep friendship she has ever made, she has had to instigate. She would host coffee dates in her home, have playdates, organize ladies’ nights, etc. She learned that you cannot sit and wait on friends or wait to be invited somewhere, you must create it. How freeing this was to me! Here I am sitting and waiting for friendships to magically bond, while I could be working to cultivate these now! I have to admit, my husband has been telling me this for a few years now, but hearing it from Sally resonated a little more (sorry honey!).

Sarah is a mom “in the trenches.” Her three children are a little older than mine, but I loved her encouragement as well. She has experienced the same things that I experience daily, and our struggles are similar (homeschooling, children with different personalities and struggles, etc.). Each chapter is set up with a section from each author. I gained so much insight from each of them. They touch on a variety of topics that are specific to motherhood: housework, lack of training, formulas for discipline (which don’t work), creating legacy, purpose, and much more. They also did small youtube videos that correspond with each chapter.

So…I decided to start a “moms group.” There are four of us that will get together on Tuesday mornings at 10:30am. The purpose is friendship. We are going to read this book together, as well as talk and encourage one another and pray for each other. I even found a sweet college girl that has offered to keep our kids for us while we meet. I am so excited!

This book was such a blessing to me. I read it in a few days. Today is their release date and you need to buy it. There are some pretty amazing giveaways and perks for buying the books this week. Happy reading:)

 

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